Beijing Day 2

Last time on "Masta in China!!"
So after the peking opera, I went back to the hotel room.... I saw something in my bed that I had never seen before...

Now the conclusion.
There were clean sheats! In fact, everything in the room had been placed in order. They even put all my coins in a neat little pile on the bureau. Amazing!!Moving on.

Each city on the tour had one specialty place where the tour guides would bring you to spend some serious RMB (chinese currency). Beijing's place, was the Jade Factory.

As I passed some girls at the factory, they started giggling and staring. I talked to them a bit, they ask where I'm from what I study. It's interesting. Being black in China gets you a lot of attention. This, was good attention and much appreciated! Later in our journey across China I'll give some examples of bad attention!

Anyway, definately one of the highlights of my trip was the Great Wall of China. At first the task doesn't seem so daunting. You can see a rampart at what looks like the top of the mountain. You see little kids and elderly people gleefully scampering up the steep stone stairs. Before beginning your ascent there's a tablet that says something like, "If you make it to the top, you're a real hero!" allegedly written by Mao himself. (When I spoke to other people they later told me that the actual saying is, 'you're not a real man until you've climbed the great wall'. Slight difference).




So I climb an exhausting flight of stairs. You get to one rampart and realize there is another. No problem, I climb to the next higher level of the wall. Now I'm already pretty tired. My tour guide had already left me, "I'll see you when you get back." and she took some pictures and abandonned me. And it seemed every time you reached a higher level, there was just more. I noticed less and less old people as I climbed ever higher. Dead bodies were strewn on the steps, killed by the arduous climb. Finally, I was certain I had reached the top.... then I could here the voice of DMX in my head going, "WHAT???" There was still more.





I thought forty five minutes of climbing stairs in the hot sun was more than enough. I took a seat on a ledge and perused some pictures, anticipating returning to Gloria and Mr. Liu in disgrace. Then some old man came up to me and started saying things in Chinese. I imagine he was saying, "You're almost there!! Don't give up now!" But he could have just as easily have been saying, "Black Guy? In China?? that's not good... :-("



But whatever he said, gave me the strength of three grinches, plus 2! For I climbed the rest of the way to the top, where other heroes were posing for pictures. I asked this british guy to take a picture of me while I was a the top. I thought to myself. "Good thing I didn't come to China with those dainty doilies back home!!!"




You're probably wondering, "Masta... Which dainty doilies do you refer to???" I'll name them. Justin Beauchamp, Vrej Hezaran, Kenny, Biowives, Mel (you can guess which one(s)), and some others. Rez, Pam, Bassem and Pat get the benefit of the doubt but still...

Anyway, when I was through taking pics at the top, I ran down the hill and that was that. Good times. I visited some place called the sacred way, which is a long path with statues of animals leading to the emperor's tomb, which I also visited. I can't remember which emperor but I think it was the emperor of the Qin dynasty... Or some such...

Anyway, that night I had some free time. I needed to find myself a memory card. I STRUT down the street, going from place to place, trying futily to communicate with people. What I find very strange is that I wasn't once approached by any beggars. Later during my trip, it got really ubsurd.



And then it hapenned. A group of cute girls see me. They giggle and wave, "Hi!!!!" Oooh... Looks like there's a little flirting goin' on... I figure, what the hell, I'll be adventurous for a change...

to be continued...

Beijing- Day 1

It's extremely disorienting to wake up in a different time zone. I was totally confused when I woke up in my hotel room. I frantically ran down to the reception desk in housecoat and slippers asking, "Where am I? What year is this? Why does everyone look like Pat Kim Chiaw???" I soon got my answer. I was in beijing for some reason. It took me a while to get used to the idea.

Back in my room I discovered little coupons for free breakfast on the second floor. I went to the dining hall and was received by many, MANY Asian people. This is the first thing I would learn about China. People are often paid just to stand around. It gets funny after a while. One person says thank you, takes my ticket and makes a broad gesture with her arm, indicating that I should take all I want. Naturally I stacked my plate with bacon, ham and anything else that might have been produced from a dead pig. Eggs, dumplings, croissant... I really ate like a pig and of the pig the first few days. But take it from a Canadian, you don't want to taste what the Chinese call maple syrup. It's quite disgusting.

So, before leaving I had made arrangements with a company to have a driver and a tour guide in each city. This is good cuz I really can't speak Chinese. Zany adventures ensued when I tried to take a taxi on my own (coming soon!). Anyway, my posse in Beijing was the charming Gloria and the grumpy Mr. Liu. It was really uncomfortable to have them open the door for me to let me in the backseat.

After this, Mr. Liu would go careening down the streets and highways, usually wearing some badass sunglasses, while Gloria gave me a Chinese history lesson from the passenger seat.



You know what I love about driving in China? Absolutely nothing. Mr. Liu's a good guy and everything, but wow... He's dangerous. I don't think they have any kind of ... rules... They just go and make crazy stops at the last minute. Mr. Liu of all my driver's had a hilarious habit of honking his horn for no reason. When he would pass to the left of a car, he'd blare his horn. If someone was in front of him, behind him... adjacent to him in any way, it was grounds to honk his horn screaming the Chinese equivalent of, "KING KONG AIN'T GOT S**T ON ME!!!!" But what's even more frustrating, is even in this land of crazy driving, it is considered offensive to put on your seat belt!!! Go figure!

And that was a typical day. Day 1 in Beijing I went to Tianamen Square to Visit the Forbidden city. What's the Forbidden city you may ask? Well, to be specific... It's where the Emperor did stuff. Talked to people, flossed the finest concubines medieval China had to offer... etc... And that's pretty much all you have to know about Chinese history to appreciate these buildings. The Emperor used money to build big beautiful statues and halls, fund the army and what not for himself, rather than feed his starving people. I guess they were republican. Nyarrr... That's good political commentary! Or is it?

No... :-(

Here are some pics





One of those buildings was called the Hall of Supreme Harmony. I can't remember which one, but that's as much information as you'll get from this blog!!

I had famous peking duck for supper! Duck is some greasy s**t! But it's also some delicious s**t! They have a picture of the famous people who have eaten at this restaurant. Yasser Arafat... Some other guys... And now me!




And finally, I went to the incredible Peking Opera. It's not what I expected. Everybody was Kung Fu fighting! And the main character was this woman with swords, and she was doing sommersaults and deflecting many spears being hurled at her! Some dude was breathing fire!!! Crazy go nuts!!!





Now to keep you all tuned into this fly blog. I'm going to end each post on a cliffhanger.

So after the peking opera, I went back to the hotel room.... I saw something in my bed that I had never seen before...

to be continued...