Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Beijing Day 3/ Xi'an Day 1

Last Time on "Masta in China!!!"

And then it hapenned. A group of cute girls see me. They giggle and wave, "Hi!!!!" Oooh... Looks like there's a little flirting goin' on... I figure, what the hell, I'll be adventurous for a change...

Now the conclusion:

I waved back! And they giggled some more... And that was pretty much it. It looked like they wanted to talk, but I was fixated on getting a memory card. Like an idiot, I just walked right by... I found one during my exploits but it was too expensive and I moved on. Then smacked my head thinking, "Beijing adventures would have been more hardcore with 3 hot chicks!!! Too bad I spurned the last trio!!!" Maybe I'd have better luck in the future... (Foreshadowing?....)

Anyway, the next morning I saw the Summer Palace. It's a really beautiful place. They have what I was told is the longest corridor in the world. It has these nice looking paintings on it, but I don't think I have a nice picture of it. What really surprised me was that China has little Hobbit Doors all over the place, round green things (see below) Just like in Lord of the Rings.



After that I was driven off to the airport where I would say bye to Gloria and Mr. Liu and hello to the city of Xi'an. It was one of my stranger airport visits. There was a bat flying around, white guys wearing rice hats, asian guys wearing cowboy hats... It was like stepping into the Twilight Zone. I overheard a tour group speaking amongst themselves. One of them said, "Apparently they don't serve pork in Xi'an... It's because they're... Ummm...?"
"Muslim!" I interjected.
"Oh really?" one lady asked, "Hello, where are you from?"
"I'm a student from Canada, blablabla.."
Then the whole tour group turns around...AGHAST!!! "LOOK! A BLACK GUY! And he's saying stuff!" And I talked to them a bit. It was interesting.

It turns out my comment about people in Xi'an being muslim was pretty silly.... I mean, it's a big city... They have a muslim history, but I was eating pork there till the cows came home... Anyway, I talked with them for a bit and actually ended up meeting up with someone from the group much later in the South of China. It's a small world!

So, my guide in Xi'an was a dude named Mr. Li, like Jackie Chan in Rush Hour 2. Making us Chris and Mr. Li. Funny stuff. Anyway, that night we visit the city wall and I had just enough time to see the city wall and that was about it.




After which Mr. Li insisted I go to some restaurant at night to have some freaking dumplings... He went on and on and on about dumplings. For the love of God! I've had dumplings!!! I don't care!!!

The Hotel was one of the nicest ones I stayed at during my trip. That night I went roaming around the city. Less people speak english there, so my hunt for a memory card was even more difficult. And more people started trying to buy me stuff. It was as if China was becoming acclimated to my presence and was now ready to unleash legions of their annoying street sales people.

Anyway, there are lots of Kodak stores in China. It seemed like a whole family was working there, Man, Wife and Son. I walked into one to ask for a memory card. Absolutely no English taking place here. Just scowls. So I bust out my digital camera to show them what I'm talking about. "Memory card!" I pull it out of the camera and the old gentleman their wordlessly tiefiscates the memory card and puts it into his computer and starts perusing the pictures. My pictures!!! "What the hell...?"

Now it was time for Charades. Using nothing but hand gestures and incoherent phrases, I explained to them that I wanted the pictures put onto a CD. That's when the haggling began! When it was all said and done, they truly ripped me off horribly... There's a point in haggling where you know you can't make the price any lower.

Lady: "150 yuan!" (~25$)
Me (trying to do the math in my head): "50 yuan!" (damn, that's some Cheesy Math Masta!!! That means you're paying at least 8 bucks just to get some pictures on a cd!)
Lady(disgusted): "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! 80 yuan!!!"
Me (sweating. If I don't get this done, I won't be able to take any pictures in Xi'an): "Ummm... 60 yuan!!!"
Lady: "70 yuan!!!"
Me: "65 yuan!!!" (a difference of 5 yuan which is pretty much 80 cents, but I figure it's the principle of the thing).

At this point the lady just looks confused, realizing the absurdity of me cutting the price by 5 yuan. She smiles pleasantly and agrees to the deal, thinking my western naivety rather amusing. So suddenly we end up looking at pictures from my trip. At this point the formerly shrewish woman turned into a charming lady who finds me too hilarious, laughing at my pictures, especially the ones of me on the great wall. We manage some rudimentary communication. Using her fingers she asks how old I am. Then she says she's 31! To which I say, "31??? You don't look a day over 24!!!" and she laughed and laughed. Apparently Chinese people can understand compliments in English. Yeah, I flossed the lady in front of her husband!!!

Then there is the mandatory, "Where are you from? Canada?" she turns around to look at her son, who just finished interupting the upload of the pictures twice, much to the disgust of the father. "Chanada?" They were nice, and thoroughly amused at having a black guy in their shop. The next day I went they were even more hilarious. Once the husband saw me he bellowed something I obviously didn't understand and his family started laughing. Anyway, I got my cd.

Then... I got on the plane and went back to Canada... OR DID I???????

to be continued...

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