Choo Chu!!!

Getting on the train to Hangzhou was like being deported or something. First of all I waited for an hour in this super crowded room, with some miserable looking individuals all spitting all over the floor and stuff.

The train finally gets there, and Peter insists on carring my bags and stuff for me. He looked very concerned. As the train was taking off I think it was all he could do not to start running after it. He's a loyal chap! Take care Peter wherever you are!

My accomadations for the next 20-24 hours was a train that had about 6 small bunk beds per little area. I guess they weren't designed to accomadate 6 foot tall, black people. Oooh, my neck hurt quite a bit after my restless sleep. It didn't help that Peter told me to keep a close eye on my bag, so I slept clutching my school bag tightly.

I woke up a few times to chat with the french guy in the bunk below me. People are so easily impressed. "Vous parlez francais???" Yeah, I talk french. And a little chinese too... Ni Hao biatch! Anyway, then the chinese family in the beds next to us tried having a little conversation. Always fun to chat it up with the locals. What wasn't fun was asking about food. I was desperate. I went to anyone in uniform and made the motion with my hand that would imply eating... I think anyone could have understood it. But they just sneered at me pretending not to understand. Jerks. Then somethin hapenned. As I was about to turn away, defeated and hungry, the words just came to me... I looked them straight in the eye and said, "Chi Fan Le Ma!" or something like that... Which I think means "To eat rice." They smiled and brought me to the kitchen, where I had an awful dish of chicken with broken bones throughout it. The only thing they had to drink was some kind of cold green tea with Jasmine. I hated it very much.

Using the bathroom was fun. I held it in for as long as I could but eventually I knew my bladder would burst. I went to the... "bathroom," a sophisticated facility that basically consited of a hole at the bottom of the train. I could see the tracks moving beneath me. Very, very interesting.

Back at my bunk bed some drunken chinese girl was trying to sell me a glowing pen. She was one of the few people who seemed unphased by the fact that I was black. Extremely drunk. Having spurned the Green Tea jasmine drink, I had to buy a Seven Up. I believe it was a few yuan. As I reached for my wallet, the sinister drink selling guy tried to reach for a 50 yuan bill that was in there. "What the EFFF!!!!!!!!" It's a pretty funny thing about Chinese scam artists. He didn't feel any need to feign an apology, didn't even put on a guilty look. He just laughed and gave me my seven up.

Throughout the train, a chorus of people spitting all over the floor could be heard. I remember going to the bathroom and seing a big mucousy gob on the floor. "What the hell? There's a sink right there people!!! Spit in the goddamn sink!!!" Then I went back to the bunk area and sat on a chair, cramped against a window. A malevolent gentleman was smoking and gave me a disturbing grin before spitting on the floor and then locking eyes with me again...

What a ride. Finally, by the time I was perfectly miserable, I see someone coming down the hall. He wasn't Chinese. He wasn't even white! He was... BROWN!!! We both looked at each other. "MATE! I haven't spoken to anyone in like 3 days!!!" he cried in an English accent and immediately we exchanged complaints about our trips. This guy had just come from Vietnam teaching and said he faced quite a bit of prejudice! Anyway, then I said something about not taking my eyes off my bags. The guy did a double take and then decided to bid me adieu and run off to see if his bag was still there.

It was the train ride from hell, but at least it made a good story to tell. Was it a good story? I hope so, cuz it was a terrible experience... you see how this is the only post with no pictures?

to be continued...